As time stands still

I have this clock in my bathroom. It's been ringing 0738 for days now. The second hand tries to continue to click. It jerks to get to the next second, but there is not enough energy to make it move. In my bathroom, time stands still. What could this look like outside the bathroom. I feel the same in either place, but am reminded that everything I accomplish within those confines barely stretches a period of time. What if I focussed only on this second. Unaware that there is nothing before and nothing afterwards. What could that look like?

I have a terminally ill friend at the Foothills right now. He has cancer which has spread within a very short time period. The doctors are unwilling to do chemotherapy on him. His time is limited. It's heartbreaking to see. He is confused and angry. I cannot imagine what that's like. I try to imagine knowing my end is near. I recognize it could be over at any time, I've just not been given that head's up. Would I live life with vigor, knowing it's coming to an end? Would I wallow in the fear that comes with death? Would I accept and relax? What would my perception be? Is it easier to know?

He's begged for us to pray for him. He hopes for a miracle. It breaks my heart. He was sleeping when I went to visit him. Sleep is a time for the body to heal. Because the cancer has widely spread, I bet his poor body is fighting to save itself. Begging for sleep to do it's wonders. Is it enough? Does his body require more than 24 hours to make health? Is it possible for him to cure himself?

Imagining I knew my end was near ... I feel like I would experience a sort of anxiety of longing or missing. I would be sad to miss how our world would evolve. I would feel shortchanged. I would feel willing to try anything to reverse this possibility. I would be asking a million questions, of, "what if". I would hope I could accept what was coming. I'm pretty sure it's not so simple. I'd just want a bit more time ...