Figuring out the rules on meditation in my house today. Day one in my home. The humidifier was running and the window open a crack to let some fresh air in. The furnace came on a number of times. I could feel the warm air blow directly on me, from about 12 feet away. Posture wasn't great, but I was more or less comfortable for 3/4 of the time with legs crossed. Eventually I straightened them and placed a yoga brick underneath to touch the floor.
Most of my time was regaining focus, bringing back the visualization of air passing through my nostrils. I could do this for one solid breath and then there were much more interesting things to think about. huh? Back to the nose. I had mainly neutral thoughts of events past in the last 24 hours. Emails I've received, how will I handle things. So my mind was busy. I realized it was difficult to focus my attention on the floor and that my eyes have many many micro movements. I could hold my eyes still on inhale, but they would gitter and and move around on exhale. It took 34 minutes allow them to hold the gaze. And then the alarm buzzed at 35 minutes, I need more time. 40 minutes tomorrow.
One visualization, although it only last less than a second was a small girl biking south on a dusty road in small town. Differing hues of yellow and brown throughout.
During the experience, it felt like I was failing over and over. Not a painful failure, but definitely chastising myself. I said the breath is not judging. It was a small forgiveness.
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